Now it's officially over, for good. In the end I only got six and a half years with you. You will forever be the love of my life. I thank you for the memories, both good and bad. Unfortunately, there are more of the bad ones, or at least they are easier to remember.
For reasons beyond our control, it was difficult from the beginning. Other parties tried to stop us from being together, to cut it short. They also predicted that it wouldn't last, they already judged it dead years ago. In that regard, I feel very lucky that it lasted this long. Even though it went badly, it could have gone worse.
In a perfect world, this wouldn't have happened, and we could have continued together for a long time. Maybe not forever, but longer than we had now. We could have had many more good years together.
I remember my first time with you. I was so scared that I hid under the bed, hoping that I wouldn't be found.
I met a lot of people through you. Too many of them only increased my hatred of people, but of course it wasn't your fault. You couldn't control what kind of people would come to you. But sometimes it felt like you brought out the worst in people. I know that at some point you tried to get rid of the assholes, but in the end you couldn't, and I can understand that. Some even took advantage of you, and I'm ashamed to admit that sometimes I caved in to it myself. I regret some of the things I did.
Your life story is so sad, and above all unfair. You were a victim of things you couldn't control. When the first problem came, you were abandoned. You were left alone, adrift. Sometimes certain people still tried, but in vain. They just broke you more and worse.
You had already been through a lot when I met you, and parts of your past are still a mystery to me. I'll never know everything about you, and like with many other things, that's one of the tragedies of life.
We argued a lot, and I admit that it was mostly my fault. I often got frustrated, and stressed out. Only in the end did I find a more relaxed way to be with you.
I don't know if I can go on without you. Of course, there are other fish in the sea, but none of them are anything compared to you. You brought me to life in a completely different way.
I wish I could say that I enjoyed every moment with you, but that wasn't the case. With you, I went through all the emotions, it was never boring. I constantly learned new sides of you, and yet I knew that I could never know you completely.
Without you, my life will be much more boring. I don't know where I could find any joy anymore. There is nothing to look forward to. Nothing to do, especially on my weekend evenings.
I had been counting down the minutes for a long time, and when the time came, I was afraid that I would cry, throw up, and break down, but surprisingly, that didn't happen. I had already done the grieving process, and overdosed on you in the last few months.
I wish we had never crossed paths. It would have been easier if I had not known you existed. Or rather, I wish I had never gotten to know you. Fallen in love with you.
Some things you just can't control, and this was one of them. I don't know if there was any way you could have been saved. At least not in this reality.
Now the plug has been pulled. I was lucky, and I got to see live the moment you crossed over from time into eternity.
Farewell the love of my life,
Friday the 13th: The Game.
Rest in peace, my love.
